The Story of O, BOB and a Woman’s Sovereignty

Some of you may remember the old film The Story of O — a provocative, controversial piece wrapped around control, desire, and power. You don’t need to know the plot to understand the pattern:

A woman becomes an object.
A symbol.
A fantasy.

She is shaped by somebody else’s desires until she becomes an archetype instead of a person.

And this is exactly where BOB comes in.

BOB Is Not What You Think

Most people think they know what BOB refers to.

A private joke.
A discreet device.
Something you hide in a drawer and only mention with your closest friend over a glass of wine.

But BOB is also something far more meaningful.

For me, BOB stands for:

• Boundary of Being
• Beacon of Becoming
• Bearer of Boundaries
• Bridge Out of Bullshit

BOB is an archetype.
A symbol of sovereignty.

A reminder that a woman’s connection to herself does not depend on anyone else’s permission, validation, or approval.

Yes, there’s humour in it. Yes, there are giggles and raised eyebrows. But underneath the laughter is something very real: a woman reclaiming the right to belong to herself first.

From Object to Sovereign Being

For a very long time, feminine energy has been squeezed into two main roles:

• The fantasy — desirable, pleasing, performing.
• The caretaker — responsible, accommodating, endlessly available.

Neither of these honour the truth of a complex, living human being.

When a woman finally turns towards herself and asks, “What do I actually want?” something powerful begins to shift. Sometimes that question shows up through spiritual practice, therapy, or breathwork.

Sometimes it shows up in a far more ordinary, slightly outrageous way:

A midlife woman, a retired BOB, and a conversation that was never supposed to be spoken out loud.

This is where laughter becomes medicine.
The moment you can laugh about something you used to silence, the shame around it starts to dissolve. Your nervous system softens. Your body gets the message:

“I am allowed to exist. I am allowed to feel. I am allowed to want.”

Why I’m Telling You This Story

I work with energy, the field, and deep nervous system repair. People come to me with grief, burnout, spiritual crisis, and a sense that they’ve disappeared inside their own lives.

What I’ve learned is this:

Healing isn’t only about clearing trauma. It’s also about reclaiming pleasure, humour, and choice.

BOB, in this story, is not just a device.
He’s a doorway.

A doorway into conversations women have been discouraged from having: about desire, autonomy, ageing, and what it means to live from the inside out instead of performing from the outside in.

When we talk about these things openly — with warmth, grace, and a little mischief — we create a different kind of field. One where women in their prime are not sidelined, silenced or medicalised, but seen as powerful, sensitive, sovereign beings.

From The Story of O to Your Story

So when I say “The Story of O → The Story of BOB,” I’m really pointing to a deeper shift:

From being written by someone else
→ to authoring your own life.

From being an archetype
→ to being a living, breathing woman with needs, desires and boundaries.

From waiting for permission
→ to quietly, steadily choosing yourself.

If this stirs something in you — a laugh, a wince, a spark of recognition — that’s good. It means a new story is knocking at the door.

And yes, there is a book coming:
The Discreet Device: A Gentlewoman’s Guide to Private Joy.

For now, simply notice:
Where have you been living as “O”…
and where might your own inner BOB be asking you to come home to yourself?

With steadiness and wonder,
Shamarie Flavel
Field Explorer & Mystic Interpreter of Living Patterns

If this reflection spoke to you, I’d love to stay connected.
You can explore this topic in more depth and join the conversation —
leave a comment on my blog at shamarie.com.au/blog ,
or join our private Facebook community Evolve Courses Group to share in a more personal space.

Join me in exploring how energy, awareness, and daily life weave together to create a sanctuary of coherence and calm. 🌿
Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram @ShamarieFlavelEnergy,
visit shamarie.com.au  to explore more, or discover my courses at evolvecourses.shamarie.com.au .

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