Beyond the Red Door: from Object to Origin

So what does all this have to do with red doors and image searches?

For me, that little late-night encounter with the algorithm summed it up.

I typed in “red door” and “beautiful” to find a metaphor for a woman’s private, inner sanctuary.

The internet tried to hand me back a catalogue of women’s bodies to be looked at.

It revealed, in a very literal way, the gap we’re standing in:

We have the language of empowerment,
but the imagery – the reflexive template – is still objectification.

Part of BOB’s project, as I feel it, is to quietly reverse that arrow.

To move us from object to origin.

From:

“I am here to be seen, chosen and approved of,”

to:

“I am the origin point of my choices, my pleasure, my boundaries, my life.”

The red door is no longer the threshold into someone else’s fantasy.
It’s the entrance to her own secret garden.

Sometimes that garden includes sex.
Sometimes it includes long dry seasons, grief, rage, healing, re-learning her body from the inside out.
Sometimes it includes a discreet device on the top shelf and no interest in dating whatsoever.

All of that can be sovereign.

What matters is who the story centres.

A gentle invitation

I’m not asking you to throw away your lipstick, your pretty dresses, your love of being seen.

Objectification isn’t about loving beauty; it’s about being trapped inside someone else’s idea of what that beauty is for.

So here’s a gentle question you might play with:

“In this moment, am I the object… or the origin?”

When you get dressed.
When you post a photo.
When you say yes.
When you say no.
When you reach for pleasure, or turn toward rest.

You don’t have to get it “right”.
You don’t have to burn your old scripts overnight.

Just begin to notice where you’re still standing at the door hoping to be invited in.
And where, quietly, you’re already holding the key.

BOB is one playful, irreverent way I’m choosing to explore this.
He gives us permission to laugh, to roll our eyes at the absurdity, and to talk about things women were “never meant” to say out loud.

But the real liberation isn’t about BOB at all.

It’s about you.

Your body.
Your story.
Your particular, unrepeatable way of being a strong, independent woman –
not by becoming like a man,
but by becoming more fully, unapologetically yourself.

Beyond the red door, the secret garden is waiting.
And it doesn’t exist for anyone’s gaze but your own.

With steadiness and wonder,
Shamarie Flavel
Field Explorer & Mystic Interpreter of Living Patterns

If this reflection spoke to you, I’d love to stay connected.
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